In case you’re wondering, I renewed my membership today.

So I’m outside working in the garden and hear some buzzing above the table we have setup for the kids to eat snacks and also where I had their towels (they were playing in the pool).

I looked up and saw a huge wasp’s nest in the holly tree directly above the table. So first I move the table and then I worry about the kids playing out there, so I go into Dad protector mode. I don’t actually see any movement and it’s later in the day, so I decide I’ll just chop off the branch its on and get rid of the whole thing.

Mistake #1.

The tree limb cutter didn’t cut all the way through on the first try. So the branch kinda worbled and woke up the whole hive. Apparently it wasn’t as late in the day as it should be.

Mistake #2.

So the buggers chased me across the yard and stung me three times… I was yelling like a girl, as the situation warranted. As you  can see by my picture, the clippers are still hanging in the tree branch that they failed to cut.

When I got done whacking the ones on my shoulder and taking my shirt off, Alia asked me what happened. I said I was stung by a wasp. A: What’s a wasp? Me: It’s kinda like a bee.

A: Oh, a bumblebee. You must smell like a flower.

So I called Jean, told her the whole story. Told her to buy some wasp spray. When she got home, I looked at the stuff – “Hot Shot”, “With a 27 foot stream”.

Woo Baby!! I’m taking full advantage of THAT.

I unloaded 1/2 of the can on the damn thing, and then another 1/4 from the other direction (once things settled down).

Now I have to wait 24 hours to take it away, as the wasps who weren’t there will come back to the nest and get their comeuppance.

The kids are just a pile of talkative recently. Connor has alot to say, although we still have trouble understanding him. I would say we’re about to about 80% understanding of what he is saying. Now whether others understand that much is yet to be seen (heard). Maybe Jean’s comprehension is a little higher because she works with him everyday, but it’s still not where I think it should be. Alia enjoys singing and knows the words to dozens of songs. They are both into imaginative play and direct each other to play parts, such as the princess, or the rescuer, or the bad guy.

What’s great is that they are moving in the combination of thoughts and phrases that are culled from previous conversations and are putting it all together.

Yesterday, they came to visit me at work as part of our recent car fiasco.

When they came in the front door:

Me: Connor, say hi to Marie.

Connor: Hi Marie. This is my sister Alia.

When they came back to my office:

Me: This is where I go everyday when I leave you guys and go to work.

Connor: This is a nice place.

When I showed him the pictures of themselves on my ‘keep my happy’ wall:

Me: Connor, who’s in the pictures?

Connor: That’s us.   <- Note the use of the of the plural pronoun. Usually he identifies himself and Alia separately, so it’s nice to see the combo.

Saturday was the twins 3rd birthday party. The first present opened was an Imaginext  Pirate Ship by Fisher-Price

It has Pirates.

It has ZOMBIE Pirates.

I mean, come on.. how much geekier can you get than that? I’m sure it was easy for Mike and Sam to actually pick this item out, because, truth be told, Mike is a 3 year old himself. He was as excited about playing with it as they were.

Connor took one look at it, opened one of the accessory packs (a skeletal shark) and decided he didn’t want to open any more presents. He had the one he wanted.

The ship has ‘action points’ on it, allowing for things like raising the anchor, or firing the cannons. You put the pirate in the appropriate place and turn it, and then the magic happens. Very cool indeed.

He played with it all night Saturday, and all day Sunday (except for the time when Alia had the captain and they were fighting over it). I’m sure, even as I write this, he has his ‘Captain Hook’ fighting against the zombie pirates.

Last night, Alia wouldn’t eat her meatballs. But, when the two-headed dragon chariot decided to eat the ‘dragon food’, she was right behind him. Finished the whole plate. That didn’t give the dragon the strength needed to survive the onslaught of the zombie pirates though.. At this point, whatever toy Connor is holding is the one that wins.

I soon got mauled by two children snarling and growling at me, pretending to be the dragon. No sympathy from the wife, who sat there chuckling that I brought it on myself.

I did, of course, and that makes it all the better.

I just brought these guys up at the Brooks’ party on Saturday, so it reminded me to go check out their site for new missions, and lo and behold!!

In honor of my father and uncle, I present the latest Improv Everywhere mission, Human Mirror.

Sure enough, it happened to this family, who managed to provide 2007′s last baby born, and 2008′s first.

Shelby Utley of Bloomington is the proud mother of a baby born on New Year’s Eve – and another born on New Year’s Day.

The father makes an obnoxious attempt at humor regarding his accountant, but I’m sure that’s because the sleeplessness is already setting in.

As Jean was thinking about our holidays and Christmas morning, I got to thinking about how I handled the morning.

The twins were up at 7:30am and started the day opening presents VERY SLOWLY! They liked to open one and then play with it, ignoring all the rest.

By the time they went down for their nap at 1:30p, only half of the gifts were opened. It was driving me nuts. I just wanted to tear them all open myself and say “See? Isn’t this a wonderful gift? Aren’t you glad you opened this one too!”

When they woke up, and after dinner they opened 2 more! That’s it! I want to tear my hair out… We’re going to be opening gifts all week.

I love their innocence and happiness. They didn’t need 4711 gifts. They aren’t consumed with the need to have more or the commercialism of the holidays. I’ve been too far corrupted for there to be any help for me, but maybe my kids will do better.

Their joy with opening a gift and just wanting to play with it above everything else is refreshing. I’m enjoying it (even if I’ve led you to believe otherwise).