A hallucination, in the broadest sense, is a perception in the absence of a stimulus. In a stricter sense, hallucinations are defined as perceptions in a conscious and awake state in the absence of external stimuli which have qualities of real perception, in that they are vivid, substantial, and located in external objective space.

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Hallucinations can occur in any sensory modality — visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory, tactile, proprioceptive, equilibrioceptive, nociceptive, thermoceptive and perception of time.

I can’t remember the last time I had a really high fever, but Monday night I broke 102. It was 102.1 actually. Made my joints cramp up, and I was getting chills. Under blankets and wearing fleece top and bottom, I was still curling my toes from being cold.

Slept on/off from about 2pm Monday until 8am Tuesday.

So Monday night, I wake up and I’m getting ready to go upstairs and get off the couch. I got myself into a state of awake, but not awake. It’s as if both my conscious and unconscious minds were acting at the same time.

I knew I was awake, but I knew that I was asleep. How strange is that? I started talking to Jean about things at work. Both incomplete and complete thoughts about projects I was working on and problems I was having. She would tell me that she didn’t work with me and had no idea what I was talking about.

Then, immediately after saying it, I realized that I was making no sense, so I would apologize to her. I went so far as to tell her that I wasn’t making sense and that my mind was all foggy like I was dreaming, but I was sitting there awake and talking to her. She chuckled to herself. This went on for several minutes.

She should have recorded me, because it didn’t stop there. We went upstairs and I continued being loopy. Today, when I brought it up with her, she told me at points in the “conversation” I would look straight at her, with open eyes, and say something. She thought I was awake, because my eyes were open and what I said sounded coherent,  but she didn’t know what I meant.

When she asked me what I meant, I would say “I have no idea”.

So I’m not sure if I was actually hallucinating that I was at work, or just somehow that my unconscious mind was wrapping into my conscious one and the crossover was complicating things. I would say it was like sleep-walking, but instead sleep-talking. But then how do I explain the fact that I was able to *know* I was being weird at the time I was doing it?

Really kinda trippy if you ask me. Took some Tylenol. The fever finally broke. Spend much of Tuesday with a negative fever (hovered around 97 for most of the day). Finally last night came back to normal.

There is something magic about knocking on someone’s door, they answer not knowing who it is, and then the smile on their face as they hear the singing and call over others in the house to listen.

In college, our SCA group used to carol across the Cornell campus, singing several more period pieces (even in Latin and German)

Every year, I tell myself that I need to start doing it again. I’ve tried to push the Iron Bog caroling, but realized that I should be doing it with my family as well.

Well, this year it’s going to change. We’re going to go, and I would *love* to have your voices be heard alongside ours. Just a few hours out of your weekend to put smiles on your face and those of others.

That was part of an email I sent to friends a few weeks ago. Yesterday we were able to bring it all together. Now, my original vision of going door to door with candles was thrown for a loop with the bad weather yesterday. My rain date was also up against something else, and I *really* didn’t want to miss out on going, especially since I had several responses.

So we went with Plan B. That consisted of me tracking down a nursing home or assisted living location that would welcome us on short notice. Luckily, I found one not far from us in Deptford. I sent out an email early in the day to let folks know not to get nervous with the rain.

Overall, it went really well. We had 8 adults and 8 children, though only 2 of the kids actually joined in the singing.

Our music was holiday and seasonally inspired. Since almost half of the singers were Jewish, we want to make sure to not be overly Christian in our song choices, while at the same time including some Chanukah songs (which are really hard to find sheet music for, btw)

We wind up singing to a group of about 15-20 older women (and a few men), plus the staff. It was great to watch them sing along and smile in recognition as we worked through the songs.

It was actually more difficult to do it this way. Had we gone from house to house, we would have had breathers between songs. We could also have repeated the ones everyone knew really well, or tended to get the best reception. In this case, we just worked through the handout I’d given everyone. We sang for about 45 minutes.

Afterwards we returned to my house for cookies, hot cider, hot chocolate, and “Jewish death bread” (with clotted cream of course). Those celebrating Chanukah light their Menorah and exchanged gifts. The kids watched the classics of Rudolph and Frosty on DVD.

Thank you everyone who came and joined us. It was a wonderful evening, and hope the resident’s smiles stay with you throughout the season.

Here was our final set list of songs (* = actually sung):

The Twelve Days of Christmas *

Good King Wenceslas

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer *

Toyland

My Favorite Things *

Jingle Bells *

Let it Snow *

Over the River *

Jingle Bell Rock *

Carol of the Bells

The Holly and the Ivy

Deck the Halls *

Frosty The Snowman *

Winter Wonderland *
O Chanukah, O Chanukah *

Dreidel, Dreidel *

Oh Christmas Tree

Here we come a-caroling

We Wish You a Merry Christmas *

The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) *

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

We Need a Little Christmas

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree *

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Up on the Housetop

The Night Before Christmas

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Sleigh Ride *

Mele Kalikimaka

Hey Ho Nobody Home (shortened verses)

Boar’s Head Carol

So the Bachen Family went on an adventure tonight. Actually, several. I’ve been looking for an excuse to try out Chore Wars, and finally decided to do it tonight. Chore Wars is an online game which allows you to earn experience and treasure for your character by doing chores. Make work fun!As I explained to Jean, it’s like gold stars for gaming geeks.

It was a raging success! Both kids completed the adventure ‘Telling Mom and Dad about School” (15xp), and “Eating All my Lunch” (25xp). Alia’s lunch quest was uneventful, while Connor had to fight off a hungry dog. They each earned some gold coins and a golden tiger.

Alia ate all of her dinner, and completed the adventure ‘Eating All my Dinner – NonCombat”. (50xp) She earned some more gold coins and silver spoon. She traded in her silver spoon for dessert, and got some yummy vanilla pudding.

Connor didn’t want to eat his dinner tonight, but he kept wanting to go on another adventure.

We told him no. You only get to go on an adventure and fight the bad guys if you eat your dinner like Alia did. He pouted for about 10 minutes, and then decided he really wanted to try it again. So he ate his dinner! Then we went on his adventure and completed “Eating all my dinner – Combat” (50xp). This time the Monster Dog was no match for his swift sword. He vanquished the monster and found some gold coins and silver spoon – which he promptly turned in for some Jello.

It was getting late, and I wanted to take them upstairs for a bath. They wanted to watch the silly cat video again. Mom made them turn in their golden tigers that they had earned to stay up a little later and watch the video. They wanted to watch it a second time, but had no tigers left!

Oh, and everyone in the family completed the special adventure “Trying Something New with My Family”. We each earned 100 XP, and got a ruby! Who knows what you can turn THAT in for. Its so special you can only carry 1 at a time!

—-

I’m not sure how we’re going to create the rest of the quests. For now, to get them involved, I made sure they were able to complete 1 immediately (lunch, which I knew they ate), 1 that required little effort (tell me about school), and 1 which took effort (eating dinner).

I made sure that they earned a treasure for dinner, by setting it to 100%. We really want them to eat dinner, and it’s the biggest fight in terms of meals. Tentatively, 1 silver spoon = dessert. Maybe you can save up for 3 and get ice cream at the mall, or have mom make a cake! Who knows.

I created two quests for meals, with (100% chance) and without (0%) combat.. That way I can ask them ahead of time, do they want to fight or not.. it doesn’t really matter as you can’t die, but it lets them have a choice.

I’ll work on the other quests later.. “Being nice to your brother/sister” and “Picking up toys”.

Plus, I have to add the adult chores.. I think taking out the trash is worth at least 30XP!

For now, I was just happy to see that a little bribery for dinner worked. Let’s hope it sticks with him, and I can get them thinking about doing things to earn xp and treasure.. obviously I’ll have to tone down the treasure at that point, but I gotta hook them in first! Rules of being a DM – make the first fight easy.

In case you’re wondering, I renewed my membership today.

So I’m outside working in the garden and hear some buzzing above the table we have setup for the kids to eat snacks and also where I had their towels (they were playing in the pool).

I looked up and saw a huge wasp’s nest in the holly tree directly above the table. So first I move the table and then I worry about the kids playing out there, so I go into Dad protector mode. I don’t actually see any movement and it’s later in the day, so I decide I’ll just chop off the branch its on and get rid of the whole thing.

Mistake #1.

The tree limb cutter didn’t cut all the way through on the first try. So the branch kinda worbled and woke up the whole hive. Apparently it wasn’t as late in the day as it should be.

Mistake #2.

So the buggers chased me across the yard and stung me three times… I was yelling like a girl, as the situation warranted. As you  can see by my picture, the clippers are still hanging in the tree branch that they failed to cut.

When I got done whacking the ones on my shoulder and taking my shirt off, Alia asked me what happened. I said I was stung by a wasp. A: What’s a wasp? Me: It’s kinda like a bee.

A: Oh, a bumblebee. You must smell like a flower.

So I called Jean, told her the whole story. Told her to buy some wasp spray. When she got home, I looked at the stuff – “Hot Shot”, “With a 27 foot stream”.

Woo Baby!! I’m taking full advantage of THAT.

I unloaded 1/2 of the can on the damn thing, and then another 1/4 from the other direction (once things settled down).

Now I have to wait 24 hours to take it away, as the wasps who weren’t there will come back to the nest and get their comeuppance.

Let me explain how I’m making this post, and that will give you an idea of how busy and stressful life/work has become.

As I write this, we’re driving down I84, in northern Connecticut. I have a wireless Broadband adapter for my laptop, so that I always have Internet access when we travel. I took today off so that we could come back to Massachusetts for Easter. Supposed to be a vacation, but I answered email both Saturday and Sunday nights, as well as for the last 45 minutes in the car.

I need to learn to start putting up a hard wall separating work and weekend, but I keep finding reasons to make it permeable.  We’re launching a new initiative on Wednesday and there were lots of little last minute things that needed to be dealt with. The flipside could have been not taking a vacation at all, so I guess this the compromise.

Jean’s driving, and I’m about to see if I can do some programming, I just needed a break.

I’m feeling on more stable ground now. Just starting my 5th month. At least I feel like I have a better understanding of the picture that the puzzle pieces are trying to make. I still keep finding whole sections of it that were hidden under the bed by a devious child, but the cleanup on those items is coming along quicker each time.

I haven’t kept up with LJ in weeks. So much so that when I read through my friends pages, I get to the end of what LJ shows me without having read all the new messages, and for that I apologize. I need to at least start reading it weekly if I can’t get to it daily. My other daily reading has also suffered. When you find yourself 8 or 9 strips behind in OoTS, while its nice for continuity, it reminds you have long it has been.

This car ride is making me sick.. need to take a break from this LCD and have a snack.

Of course I did the exact *wrong* thing, and put my fingers into my throat and attempted to dislodge the damn thing. I was successful, but only because it was actually a double piece that was connected by a length of skin. So I managed wedge my fingers next to it, hook the skin and pull it back out.

Now I know I’m not supposed to do that, and I even once knew about how to perform a Heimlich on myself..

Problem is, when you’re choking, all that goes out the f’ing window.

The Heimlich maneuver is one of the few methods by which a potentially life-threatening choking incident may be resolved, and its method should be learned by anyone who is in a position to potentially offer help to minors, seniors, or other individuals at potential choking risk.

However, when one is alone, the chance of successfully performing the procedure is dramatically decreased, because to perform the Heimlich upon one’s self is generally awkward, especially when one may be suffering the preliminary or advanced effects of hypoxia, or oxygen deprivation.

One must, before conducting the procedure, be sure that it is absolutely necessary. While the signs of life-threatening choking may be somewhat ambiguous in others, one generally knows whether or not his or her airway is obstructed, but all the same some clarifications must be made.

Partial airway blockage is not cause for the Heimlich maneuver. If you can breathe at all, speak at all, or cough, you are not a candidate for the Heimlich maneuver. Coughing is a far more effective way of removing partial blockage of the trachea, and it will clear successfully virtually all such blockages. If one cannot cough because one cannot draw air, then the Heimlich maneuver may be necessary.

There are two ways to perform the Heimlich maneuver on one’s self. The first method is much like those conducted on others.

* Place your balled fists together, about two inches above the navel, but below the breastbone. Thrust forcefully upward and into your abdomen. Repeat until the blockage is cleared. This may be difficult, as the angle at which one must place one’s arms in order to achieve this compression can be hard to reach, especially with the force required to dislodge a tracheal blockage.

* If it is not cleared, one may alternatively lean over a chair or similar prop to attempt compression. Place yourself over a chest-high chair, and, if possible, force yourself upon it quickly and forcefully in an attempt to force out the blockage. This may, depending upon your strength and stature, be more or less effective than the traditional fisted method.

Many people find it difficult to perform the Heimlich maneuver upon ones self for much the same reason that it is difficult to slap, cut, or otherwise hurt one’s self–the natural instinct against the self-infliction of pain. However, one must do what is possible to ensure that the necessary force is used, because consciousness will quickly fail in conditions of hypoxia, as with tracheal blockage. To fall unconscious in a room alone with a blocked air passage is, needless to say, unlikely to be resolved with a positive outcome.

Proper instruction in CPR technique and official certification may allow you further practice with the Heimlich maneuver as it is practiced both upon one’s self and upon others. Seek out health and safety programs in your community for more information on certification and training courses designed to instruct the community in safety technique.

think that says enough

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Then I had a few days off and we traveled to MA for Thanksgiving.

That was my final reprieve, as we returned on Saturday and I flew out to Downey, CA on Sunday.

So I’m laying here now on Tuesday night, and I’m hear for another 3 days. I’ll be returning Friday night. I don’t have a car this time, so there isn’t alot I can do after I get done my work training. Granted, I didn’t finish until almost 6 tonight anyway. Originally, I thought I might see who was around up in LA from my Ithaca days and maybe stop by and say hi for dinner or something, but that’s not feasible without a car.

Luckily, on day one, I got a new mobile phone and laptop. So now that I’ve got it all configured, I’m actually paying for WIFI access in the hotel for the next 3 nights, and hence my ability to finally post.

I’ll talk more about the job later, but I wanted to comment on the flight out.

The worst flight I’ve been on in 25 years. We got in the air 45 minutes late, but then the pilot told us we might be in for some rough weather and he was going to leave the seatbelt sign on. He wasn’t exaggerating. He got on 3 more times to update us over the next hour. He apologized and said it was the worse he’d seen in years as well.

For an hour, we kept changing altitudes. 20k. 28k, 22k, 3ok. 25k. Trying to smooth things out. It didn’t work. I haven’t see a vomit bag used in 25 years, and I saw a dozen used on this flight. People would vocalized ‘woahs’ and ‘ahs’. We were holding onto headrests and arm rests. I found myself locking my fingers under the tray table and standing on the balls of my feet trying to deal with the shifts and bounces. I felt myself straining against the seat belt several times as we dipped unexpectedly. I’m glad I had a seat belt on, or I’d likely have hit my head on the ceiling.

Wow. Don’t make me go through that again please. At one point I thought, what a way to start a new job, dying in the mountains of western PA. When we arrived, we heard that we’d just missed being redirected to Ontario, CA because of the fog. Flights afterwards were, and that would have put me 50 miles from the hotel instead of 22.. The taxi at 22 miles cost my $64.. another employee got redirected and split the $130 cabfare with someone else. Heard later that there we delays all across the country. In LAX, outgoing flights were backed up several hours.

I’m so glad I didn’t have to add on THAT to the end of a horrible flight.

Let’s hope Friday’s return is easier on the insides..

I know I haven’t been sleeping well the last two nights.. Hoping staying up a bit and writing this will help me settle down… last night I was up at 3 and 5 and finally got out of bed and started my day at 6. Monday morning, I was up at 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. I wanted to attribute that to the plane ride + first day jitters, but today was day too.. Am I still nervous? A good night sleep will prove otherwise.